There are many, many, many days where I feel like I am failing at this mom thing. There are times, in between the school drop offs, the trips to the grocery store, and tucking the boys in at night that I wonder what my purpose is in all this. I have given up on being the quote unquote “perfect” mom. That’s a pretty self-deating thing to try to be.

But what about becoming the mom I want to be. Instead of trying to be the mom that I think I should be, I need to just be, well, me.

How do I do that?

becoming the mom i want to be

1. Do What You Need to Do. We can’t sneeze without thinking someone is going to judge us for our decisions. Put your kids in front of the TV so you can take a 10 minute shower and you feel like you are risking a first class shaming. There’s no shame in my game. I do what I need to do so I can save my own sanity. Sometimes I just need a few minutes (alone) to become a better mom after a little recovery time.

2. Exercise When and How You Can. This is something that I need to push harder. Just because I can’t find an hour to put in at the gym, doesn’t mean I should be giving up on excersizing altogether. After all, some much-needed exercise will result in an energy boost. And who doesn’t need that? Instead of stressing over not being able to excerise, squeeze it in when you can. Even if it means having a dance party when you are making dinner!

3. Stop the Guilt. This is a really hard one. We are all prone to this one. And the worse part? It’s hard to stop the guilt circle –  you feel guilty about something and then you feel guilty for feeling guilty! That circle can wear a momma out both physically and mentally. We all need to keep reminding ourselves that we are doing the best we can. No one is perfect.

4. Don’t Live in Your Own Mom’s Shadow. Another toughie. It’s hard not to compare ourselves to our mothers, whether they were June Cleaver or Roseanne. If you had the perfect mom, you will most definitely feel the pressure to be just like her and may find that you aren’t measuring up. If your mom was less than stellar, you may carry around the fear that you might be just like her. Either way, that’s a lot of pressure on your mom shoulders.

5. Hear What Your Kids Are Saying. No, I mean really hear your kids. Listening effectively  is a key component to being the mom you want to be. That may mean that we have to bite our tongues or just let them talk it out rather than jumping in with a solution. Other times it means you need to be proactive and solve the problem. Whatever the case may be, when you really listen to your kids, you are showing them that you care and are there for them.

How do you become the mom you want to be?

Read more of our parenting posts! Check out Bring More Joy Into Your LifeHow Becoming a Parent Changes Your Life, and The Worst Parenting Advice We’ve Heard about Parenting

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